Desperate friend requests!!

Ok my I was scraping Miss P about something and I came across a series of really motivated, frustration full friend requests (mind you Miss P is popular, remember Mr. Seagull) on scraps (ORKUT) so thought why not collect them for other people to see and inspire from.

Warning: the content is in its original form and not tampered with , only the captions are something I guess Miss P would have thought of!!!

So here it goes

plz plz plz add me (simple but effective)

hai......im doing mech. engg.................wat abut u................ (not doing engineering at least now )

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
this is manoj telecom engineer want 2 friendship (yah I want to read my grammar again)

hi would u like my frnd ship?? (yah y not how many sizes and colors does it come in?)

Hello mam... h r u...u knw wat...i got inspired by u!! (I got expired just yesterday sorry ur late)

Hi girl can i be your friend coz i am seein the 1st girl who is so clear about this world..... wanted a friend like u can i send a request?????????? (yah cuz I use special glasses to see the world clearly)

Hello how r u?
Can we be friends? (if not well I wud try again later)

hiiiiiiiiii...........Miss P..wanna b ur frnd...just add me (we can just forget about other imp things in life)

r u interstd 2 mak frndshp with som1 ho wnts 2 mak frndshp wid u....
if y den rly soonnnn (yah and I wanna make rice curry and fish fry etc etc )

Saw your footsteps in my profile.. Thought I would get to see your scrap as well. :-) (yah before that I need to change my moniter it got messed up with all those foot steps !)

Hi Miss P,
its seem strange ....but pls don't misunderstood me.....actually m in search of nice gift(probably designer jewelery) ....for my honey....as she is annoyed ...help me out dear.....i just approach u bcause i find lots of similarity(specially yr face cut) between u nd my jaan.... ( wait lemme get my knife grrrrrrrrrrr)

hiiiiiiiiiiiii this is rahul frm bangalore can we interactttttttt? (wait let me get my book of cursing 101)

Hi This is Amit 23/m frm mumbai....i have gone through ur profile..it seems quite interestng...me wrkng as an engg. for MNC...hw abt u??whr do u stay??
If intersted pls reply..awaiting..bbyyee...tk cr (what that’s all ? what about the rest of the biodata ? )

That’s all for me folks but the list still remains endless….poor miss P!!!

Proverbs Gone wrong!!!

Hmm.. I thought lots and lots of proverbs,phrases,,inspirational one liners have been written over the centuries..to motivate guide and inspire us..to live life..BUT..i thought in today's time..if they were to be really looked upon with real different perspective..lets see what we get????



So here it is proverbs gone real wrong....

Ignorance is a blissful of blisters!

Laugh often, Dream big and Reach for the stars! If not - try insurance…

Practice makes a man perfect- and a woman...richer

Practice makes a man perfect and after that he can RIP

Knowledge is limited. Wisdom is unlimited. So are calls on our network...buy now

There is no wisdom like frankness.. Try getting nude on a highway.

Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.--still fools get better positions and faster promotions.

For every soul, there is a guardian watching it. And those unwatched are at a rave party enjoying life.

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so. Thinking while driving and they take others with them too.

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value and try no to get caught.. doing it.

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.
what their is another dictionary too?

“I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” I got robbed stabbed and got handicapped for life..

Imagination is more important than knowledge. You can any ways imagine your rich... still knowing that your not.

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. hmmm... the secret of his happy married life i guess.

Actually I am very glad that people can buy Armani - even if it's a fake. I like the fact that I'm so popular around the world…. yah i love to use my toilet paper that says Armani all over it.

A dream catcher works, if your dream is to be gay. so straight people better luck next time!!

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal or a MNC executive...its one and the same thing.

Got any more ideas?? do leave your comments!!!!

The quetions we ask????

Hi ever wonder why we come up with most interesting of dumb questions , with no answers to ,,so here are a few ones which i discussed with a cool blogger friend of mine...

don't ask me ..WHY ?




1. Are you sleeping? Nah just playing dead !!!
2. Am i lost? no your brain is !!!
3. Where does this road go? No where u have to walk over it!!!
4. Is this a dream? Want a slap now???
5. Oh is it raining outside? no water leakage from clouds
6. To a taxi...are u free? no u have to pay for it
7. At a baby shower ..Oh my gosh how did this a happen?
8. Hey where the hell u come from?? Sky.. just landed and parked my cape!!!
9. Is that really a question? No I was figuring an way to find new grammar!!
10. What are u saying???...u don’t say?? Decide fast what do u want me to do!!!
11. Don’t tell me u did it....??? aright... m not telling u since u already know !!!
12. Shut up!!! what are u trying to say?.......... trying? ... i am already saying it dumbo and how can I shut up now that I have said it??
13. Ok did u tell her about the things we discussed. to be kept between us??
14. Did u know that we planned a surprise party for u? ok !! I wont tell any one about it shhh
15. Over a fractured arm,, does it hurt? No I am having the time of my life!!!
16. Oh man...Ar u getting married to him... seriously? No we just standing here for the photo opportunity...


And why are you still reading this??? don't you have anything better to do????

Things you do , if you really want to spoil your date!!!

Ok as you must aware about my female buddy, from my earlier post on the jilted lovers.. lets call her Ms. P…well it seems she got an opportunity to go out on a date.. and it seems interestingly, that she has become a very strong character of sorts to come up with new inspirations for me,,, so coming back to this post its all about how she almost tortured the guy,,in the date of disasters….and the guy in particular lets call him Mr. Seagull has survived and is still not giving up as yet..…who would also be an interesting character in my posts to come,, as the story moves forward…lets hope..!!

So again lets make points on how to make things go wrong even when they shouldn’t !!!!

So what if its your friends best friend, coming on the blind date with you…take her along,, just for the identification parade.

So now as you three are together, and you have asked her to stay back,, two girls and one guy ,,,go shopping…for cloths.

You must be aware fully now guys hate shopping with girls,, so take time further to decide upon stuff, and occasionally ask for his opinion.

Eventually the guy would start thinking that he would get to talk over dinner,, change the plans,, go for a movie instead.

So the guy would be thinking a romantic movie, may be action ,or comedy, guess what.. take him for a horror flick.

So things getting screwed up by now or not.. still the guy has enough left in him ,,,start your old school pal chat with your friend,, of which he can make no sense of or be part of.

So those of you who would be sympathizing with Mr. Seagull here, or thinking that if it worked even a bit for him.. nah!! the final blow comes when Mr. Seagull asks Ms. P to be dropped home.. how chivalrous isn’t it ?? She just simply says…

Sorry!! I would be staying at my friends place tonight…!!!

Hurray…!!!!

But wait – that night !

Ring Ring !!!!

“ hi …aaa …miss P ???”..

.”yah!!” ..

“Hi Seagull here”

“Hmmm hi?”

“yah , I just called to say.. that I had a great time with you today.. and really liked spending the time ..With you.. aaa would like to do it some time again???”

Click !!!!

beep.. beep.. beep..

F.O.S.L.A.

F.O.S.L.A.

Frustrated One sided Lovers Association

...tips and tricks..to stay alive and happy !!!

ok a long standing subject which i came across in a movie.."DIL DOSTI ETC."
but a subject worth discussing.. as it comes to my mind a person, a perfect specimen i had been knowing for ages...would act as the ideal inspiration for this...i would cal him Mr. A

Principles / Guidelines of FOSLA

Yah right!! the first and foremost motive of this association is to rectify the myth that one sided affections are not to be looked down upon ,and as of now not to be linked to a psychotic or paranormal behavior.

One sided affections shouldn’t be at the tip of social outcasts.

The person has all rights to live in a make believe world, how so ever unreal and has the right to love and shower undying affection be it one sided.

He / She have all rights to love one ,or more than one (yah it happens in short spans of intervals) and to express, or not express themselves at any given point.

Being moody is inevitable, and every one should be made aware of the fact that the mood swings are there because of the other side not giving proper attention.

Oath:

All the FOSLA members have to swear solemnly that they would dare not believe for once that their dreams are false and their affection though one-sided are of no major importance, they have to be happy and living life even if the one whom they love or have a crush on ,doesn’t bother to look, or ignore at any cost, or at worst humiliate publicly, they have to be strong.. And keep trying!!

Warning:

At any given circumstances FOSLA takes no responsibility, that it might be followed as a cult and advises that all followers of this belief – they should never harm any individual or themselves, drive them selves beyond the point of no return, they can any ways move on better pastures, believing those did not deserve their true love and attention, rather than being stalkers criminal minds or mass murderers, out of shear frustration.

How to get rid of jilted lovers, the Exs??

I was suggesting lots of ideas to my buddy who’s ex a guy has been troubling her , so i thought why not as a post on this blog.. Inspiration for some lesson for others….



So here it goes...

1. When ever you pass by him make him feel that your the happiest and u don’t need him and making sure he made notice of the fact repeatedly.

2. And hang out more within his circle - whom are your friends also mostly now.. choke him as much as u can.. bottom line..

3. Send him a cake with love u and miss u on top and add lots of Jamal Gota (Indian herb for constipated horses)..He would never be out of home leave alone trouble you.

4. Call up his mom/dad/sis/bro/grandparents and say.. he’s been troubling u, at two in the night!!! Repeatedly !!!

5. Send after him a pesky friend who’s desperate for any guy, and tell her he has a real hidden crush for her!!!

6. Better is tell all of your gay friends you broke off because he has secret gay feelings and needs to come out.. help him…!!

7. You put up his number online for the best deal on sex enhancement drugs, he would be busy fixing deals let alone bother you.

8. Fix up real encouraging caller tunes.. and take time to pick his phone up…

9. Sign him up for the distressed suicide help lines and tell them he needs counseling on regular basis.

10. Throw boiled eggs at him, and the fact the eggs don’t explode would make him feel shamed, that even he doesn’t deserve to be insulted properly.

CAUTION!!!
So any case, how it may turn out to be, I don’t take any responsibility or guaranty that these may or may not work.. and give special warning to those.. who are in the pursuit of troubling their exes without any reason.. Guys.. Get a life.. Now!!!

The thing called " THE BOSS"

Well a very interesting subject I have always wanted to write about is the thing we would have,or are, or would defiantly be experiencing in our lives, the thing called the BOSS !!

This reference to a “thing” to the most perfectly alive “person” ,, who has a uniquely clad .. Universal role, and has a special mention .. why ??.. Because of its capability of going beyond all rules of engagement (fare and unfair) after your life, and no matter what the profession you have .. you would always have experienced IT…until off course you are one.. but still as they say there’s always some one above you too!!

Any ways we go further in describing the - Thing, well to make it simpler.. I would like to put it in points. as I have mentioned before we have been going through so much crap all ready, given to us by our esteemed bosses, that we have a tendency to comprehend less.. and mostly in simpler language (or it could be by choice too as we tend to go immune to the occasional insults and pep talks by them).

So.. Here it goes :

1. How so ever may you slog and work.. its always less for them.
2. The more you work the more work you get!
3. The less you work more insults, and any case more work you get!
4. All praises are momentary till some important work is stuck, its normal by all means once its over.. and your no more important!!
5. They know that you are lying about it, they are there because they did it too!
6. Don’t sound too desperate with a reason for a leave. You won’t get it that easy.
7. Your asking for leave is directly propositional to your importance in a project which needs urgent attention.
8 boss’s timings are inversely proportional to yours while coming to office.
9. Boss never takes an off, so stop dreaming.
10. Bosses don’t fall ILL that easy, even if they do, they call their spy to confirm if there's party in his absence or not.
11. Boss knows every thing, his spies are amongst you and others are spying on those spies too. So no ones safe!!
12. At the time of the interview the bosses sound like advertisements to the perfect holiday resort, but the case is reverse once you get employed, you wish hell was better.
13. They take away thrice from what they pay you and they get paid better to do that!!
14. They are really incompetent and do not know anything at all.. live with it!!
15. No point reporting to the superior bosses, the boss has that bit covered.
16. You cant be the office “boss’s favorite good for nothing employee” of the month over night!! those who are.. have worked hard on ass licking over the years.
17. Even if you become one, do you think you can last long in the competition?
18. Bosses know every thing, live with this one too!!
19. Your work load and frustration level is directly proportional to the boss’s mood.
20. No even if you are aware of your mistakes and you want to avoid the situation, the boss has all the rights to point at them when you least want it to be.
21. Public humiliation and fault finding are bosses birth rights.
22. Fighting with the boss causes termination on the grounds of incompetence.
23. You work boss takes the credit, that’s how it works.. ok?
24. Boss messes up you take the fall for it, that’s why your called the “Junior“ !!!

Self Analytical Motivation

what is self analytical motivation all about??? its about all individuals in pursuit of pushing the self beyond the realms of the impossible...here no daydream is small...self appreciation is all what it takes...its all about saying good things... the very best things about your self..let the flights of fantasies take off. Wings of fortunes take u to an unprecedented high....and give courage and inspirations to those stuck at crucial points of their life and help create a new false world...
a world that revolves around u...with you as its axis. you as the source, at your analytical best..

few pointers on how you can achieve ...the same..

1. never think your less than anyone.. your are the best no matter what..
2.even if you don't sing never hesitate to use your voice...be expressive no matter what...
3. be the first one to laugh at your own jokes,people need all the inspiration in the world...
4.always live in the dreamy world where the most impractical remain practical..and your the king/queen.. of your kingdom.
5. never hesitate to be noticed even at the risk of being thrown stuff upon...you might use the stuff later..
6. show off as much as possible...you have been made present in this materialistic world for a reason better..act on it too..
7. let others think your the best of everything !! with the qualities of the most eligible person alive...basically lie like hell!!!
8. going forward to my last point... lie so well that even you start believing those things are real for you and hence you are what your never were..and it works for you better !!!
9. create your own blog and push forward your views and delete comments those say against..or do not agree...
10. Even if you get caught in a fix, just simply deny saying anything in the first place only !! or just say you were brain dead that day or under influence of a certain spirit that forced you to say it…
11. always present complete confidence in the most foolish of the situations you land up in..you were being any ways ignored at least you would be center of attention and still of no big help to any one ,any case!!!
12. self esteem becomes very important ..u have to constantly keep generating..as living a false and assumptive life with no major goals but just to imagine the best of the self ..you need all the esteem you can gather.

The Google In Me

Imagine if all had an inbuilt search engine,, some how connected to the WWW and all of over life times, unending, inevitable searches got a perfect end in the ultimate searching tool.. And that too within your self!!! Isn’t that fun just to think of ??
Well I would call my search engine.. or the tool as The Google in me!!!

So how happy or miserable it might make my life lets see…

We have a very nice habit of searching the first thing that comes to our mind on Google, so as if it were.. Hey where’s my mom??….and just going by the top ten results…you might end up with a Ethiopian or a Bangladeshi mom.. or one sponsored by American express in the sponsored results!!

Hmmm..possible…

So going ahead lets say..i get the urge to go to the loo while writing this blog.. again..top ten results…might just send me to the latest happenings in the NASA and their perfect technological break though in making the perfect LOO in the outer space!!! Or the sponsored results might just tell me to download the newest and the easiest way to relieve through their top of the line products.. ouch!!!!

Breaking News

In Spite of being allergic to blogging concept for half my life, i seem to have finally landed up on this 800X600 blogger page to begin with my first post. And this itself is a breaking news for me.

So as of now let me adapt to the evolution of myself and please do come back to see what i finally do with this blog!!!

I'll be back...